Right now I’m feeling very tired.
Not physically. Well, not completely anyway. It’s more that I’m mentally & emotionally tired.
I’m tired of being defeatist. I’m tired of the voice in my head that tells me that I don’t deserve good things, that I’m not good enough.I’m tired of always considering myself second-best.
“Well, boo hoo.” I hear you say. “What a pity. There are people out there with real problems but you go ahead and whine about everything.”
Yeah? Well, fuck you. This is what it feels like inside my head right now and since this is my blog page, I’ll say what the fuck I want. And if you don’t like it, feel free to close the browser window.
I spend too much time trying to make other people happy. I’m not saying that making other people happy isn’t important. But the truth is, since I so often see myself as lesser than those around me, I focus on making them happy. Sometimes at the expense of my own well-being.
I know what I have to do. Everyday, I have too tell myself that I’m worth this. Worth making the effort to improve my health. Worth taking the time to do the things I want to do. Worth standing up for myself. And worth more than the weaselly little voice in my head says I am.