As some of you may already know, I have some issues with self-doubt. It tends to lurk in my head, always there, every day. Some days are easier, others are tough. The tough days are the one where it becomes more and more difficult to ignore that internal voice. The one that alternates between taunts and insinuations and, all too often, succeeds in making me feel useless.
I’ve been struggling lately. Getting words from my head to the page, planning and writing blog posts, keeping on track with my goals. There’s been a lot of falling down. All of that makes the voice chatter that much louder. And one of the insinuations its been making most lately is whether or not I’ve run out of things to say.
That’s a hard question to face. Especially since it seems to me like it’s one of those things that can set off a vicious circle. As soon as you start questioning yourself, then the harder it becomes to get things done, then the more you question yourself, and so on. That’s the kind of spiral I’ve been stuck in lately. And that’s why this month I’m focused on doing everything I can to turn this around.
So far it’s been a reasonable success. Like I said above, some days have been better than others, and I haven’t done enough yet to be on track for my monthly target but overall I do believe that the past week has seen a positive improvement in my productivity.
I don’t think I’ve got nothing left. I don’t want to believe that. I won’t believe that.