For my recent trip back to Scotland to visit family, I decided that I would give an hour by hour account of my travels. Here are the results.

Just so you know, since I rarely sleep on planes as time goes on I do become increasing random.

Hour 1
Britt dropped me off at the airport and although security was busy, I got through pretty quickly. Now I’m having a coffee and waiting for my first flight of the day.
Still hour 1
Just had an email saying that my 2nd flight of the day has already been delayed an hour...
Hour 2 
Boarding the 1st flight of my journey: Albuquerque to Dallas. Mildly curious about the lady with the Pomeranian and how it’s going to react to takeoff. Hoping they serve coffee soon.
Hour 4
Landed in Dallas. Got another email saying flight to Orlando pushed back another hour, confirmed on the big board. Going in search of coffee.
Hour 4
Discovered a Starbucks right next to my gate. Which means I didn’t need to back-track over half the airport like I did. Still, I do have coffee.
Hour 5
Just got word that my next flight will only be 1 hr 15 mins behind schedule instead of 2 hrs. I think I can live with that. Past time I drank some water, I think.
Hour 6
From the lady calling out the flights: “When your plane gets here; get on, get sat down and let us get you out of here...”
Works for me.
Hour 6
From the guy announcing boarding: “Are you excited? We have a plane!”
Be a bloody long walk otherwise...
Hour 6
The same guy as earlier: “Maintenance is onboard right now & the paperwork takes a little longer than anticipated. Just hang out 10-20 minutes.”
Looks like I might be back to 2hrs behind after all...
Hour 7 
Get onboard plane.
Collapse into seat.
Mutter curses at seat belt.
Feel simultaneously sorry for anyone dealing with cranky younglings with this delay but, at the same time, really hope there aren’t any near me...
Hour 8
Find myself thinking about how thin the separation between me and the outside atmosphere an airplane fuselage really is...
Hour 9
For some reason, I haven’t paid attention to the sight of Orlando from the air before.
Hour 10
Back on the ground at Orlando airport. Now to collect my bags and brave another round of security.
Hour 11
You’d think after previous trips to Disney & Universal, I’d be accustomed to standing in lines at Orlando, wouldn’t you?
Hour 11
How is it I always spend so much time making sure my laptop etc is out of my bag that I forget to remove the liquids?
(1 travel sized tube of toothpaste, for the record)
Hour 12 
Made it through security (which I nearly spelled as sexurity, I’m putting that down to tiredness). Taking advantage of some layover time to get some real food and relax a little before the 8hr international flight.
Hour 12 
Is the restaurant really playing Paul Hardcastle’s 19? Or have the hallucinations started?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRJFvtvTGEk&feature=youtu.be
Hour 13 
Got a few satisfying cracks & clicks from my neck. The countdown to the next flight continues...
Hour 13 
Suddenly remember that the last time I made this trip, I had a notion about an almost deserted airport being attacked by monsters. Not that Orlando is deserted by any means but there are some annoying people nearby that could make good monster snacks...
Hour 13 
Beginning to wonder if I’m always this curmudgeonly or if it’s just when I’m traveling. *thinks* Nope, I’m pretty much always like this.
Hour 14 
I think more caffeine is warranted.
Hour 14 
Is Orlando the only airport without a coffee place every 20 feet or have I wandered into alternative dimension?
.
.
.
Never mind, I see one...
Hour 15 
Another flight delayed. At least this one is only 25 minutes...
Hour 15 
Okay, I’ll admit it. That is a nice looking tree.
Hour 15 
Ok, onboard 3rd plane and soon to be outward bound. Let’s see if I can nap any between here and Dublin...
Hour 16 
On the plus side, even if I can’t sleep (as is often the case), in-flight entertainment seems to be offering Deadpool 2 and The Meg so all is not totally lost...
Hour 17 
Have decided I need to use the term “fucksquib” in a sentence.
Hour 18 
I seem to have gone through my tiredness and out the other side. It probably won’t last but for the time being I’m completely awake.
Hour 19 
Edited for content Deadpool 2 is nowhere near as funny as the normal release but has moments of unintentional hilarity:
“I cant hear you with that pity duck in your mouth.”
Or...
“We’ll make the whole world our butch.”
Hour 20  
Flight half way done and currently somewhere over the Atlantic. Drifting in and out of doziness. I kind of want to to see The Stath punch a giant shark.
Hour 22 
Must have slept at least a little. Beginning to see dawn outside the windows. Two hrs left on the flight according to the map. I think someone nearby was trying out their duty free perfume...
Hour 23 
A microwave breakfast burrito & a cup of coffee and I’m wide awake again. Nearly at Dublin.
Hour 24 
First thing I hear after landing in Dublin?
Last Christmas by Wham!
Nothing against that song but couldn’t it have been Fairytale of New York?

Hour 25 
I must have been spoiled in previous trips because the travel gods seem to have saved up all the delays for this one. Flight to Glasgow pushed back an hour...
Hour 26
Urgh. My back and shoulders would really like me to be done with traveling and just rest.
Hour 27 
Sleepiness creeping up on me again... but my last flight is no longer listed as delayed so I might be closer than I thought. Then again, I might have just jinxed myself.
Hour 27 
Boarding on time after all. Took advantage of one of the railings on the shuttle to surreptitiously roller my back. Well, you have to take your breaks where you find them, right?
Hour 27 
Going old school for my last flight...
Hour 28
Got to enjoy a view of dawn..
Hour 29 
Poor visibility had us circling a few times before landing but am back in dear old Glasgow. The end, it is in sight.
Hour 31
There’s something about driving the back roads near where I grew up. Especially by full moon.
Postscript
I reached my mother’s house just before hour 32 started. I managed to last a wee while more then I proceeded to sleep for 15 hours. Feeling glad I resisted the impulse to take a selfie to show the aftermath of the trip...

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